Mini Rant #1: Dirty Money

Every so often at our humble little gas station we see some commonly odd money. Often dirty or wet bills. Perhaps a drawing, a stamp, and most common and less odd, a rip. As long  as both serial numbers are on the bill the bank will accept them, and so do we. Its not entirely uncommon for someone to ask whether we have tape for a completely split or near split bill.

I had a customer come in today with such a bill. Ripped straight through the middle hanging on by less then 1/4″. Of course I was more then happy to help the guy out. I’m a bit picky so I started taping the bill myself. He didn’t seem to mind or care and says its for pump whichever. I stop just before I tape it and run the transaction so he can go pump his gas and not have to sit and watch me taping the bill. He walks out just as I finished setting up the prepaid pump and I’m finally ready to put this piece of tape I’ve stuck to my finger now on the bill. One side of the rip has a slight curl that as I attempt to smooth it out and perfectly place and align both sides, a trail of white powder is lingering in the curl!! Since I had already rub my finger in it I rubbed my fingers together. Yep, cocaine! I wiped the bill off, taped it and threw it in the draw and washed my hands.

So I’d like to just end this with an actual rant… So seriously?? You just walked up to my counter with a bill that you not only covered in coke BUT you also had shoved up your (and whoever else’s!) nose. Haven’t you heard of a straw? Do you know where that money has been?! And you just put it in your nose? Did you know your mouth isn’t the only place that can acquire germs? OK so let’s say you think you’re some kinda badass snorting your coke with a $5 bill…  At what point of deciding to spend this piece of paraphernalia did you not think to at least give it a quick rub across you pants? There was enough that I could have sniffed the stowaway right off of the bill! And was the rip part of some terrible coke snorting accident? Or were you THAT hard up for a small tube suddenly the ripped five in your piggy bank seemed appealing?

OK! OK! OK! I’m done… But seriously don’t do that again! Especially when you walk inside still wearing your shades and its very overcast outside. Just sayin’….

Have a nice day!